Hope

I sing in front of people, I don't talk in front of people!  I do talk a lot, but I'm never the only person talking in front of a large group of others.  Ugh... so stressful, but I'm happy I did it.  Gotta love continually being stretched and forced out of regular routines!

Pat Harkrider, a very lovely lady, asked me to speak on hope and the way it has changed my life.  My initial reaction to her voicemail was... 

No Thanks!  

I mulled over it throughout the afternoon though while working.  Back and forth with my answer, I gave Pat a call to talk it over.  My intentions were to say no, yet by the end of the conversation I said, "Sure, I'll do it." I cave easy ;-) 

My friend Andrea was there to witness it.  She agreed that I'm an easy cave.  

Oh well, like I said, it was worth it.  

I led worship like normal this morning, but I was highly distracted.  I couldn't get the words right while running the songs.  I'm sure it was obvious to all around me that I do not like public speaking and I was nervous! Plus, I hadn't prepared what so ever for my talk aside from prayer and picking 2 verses to share.  

Pat announced me, I introduced myself, asked everyone to have a laugh and then it all kinda goes blank! 

I remember opening in prayer, rambling, then reading scripture, rambling, reading another scripture, laughing, and finally finishing in prayer. 

Crazy enough, I had some women tell me that they appreciated me sharing and that they took something from it!  ...only God could have taken something from what I said and made it worthwhile to someone else ;-) 

While on the topic of hope, let me share a little of the hope I do have and who it is in. 

My hope, the real deal, nothing else matters kind of hope is in Jesus Christ.  

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.

(Hebrews 10:23 ESV) 

I'm 26 year old and have been married almost 5 years now.  I'd say that the hope I have has changed in the past 5 years.  Something happens when you have someone else to live for.  You can't, or shouldn't, be self focused anymore.  You can't solely live for your own desires, dreams and ambitions without considering what it may do to the others involved. 

Honestly, this threw me for a loop at first.  I was young, I felt stagnant in my faith and in between the rainy seasons of my life.  Rainy seasons are good times when you are aware of what God is doing in your life.  

My hopes of finding someone to spend forever with were met, and the "hopes" of being able to buy new clothes, go on vacation, hang out with friends, have time to work out etc seemed nothing in comparison to what I began hoping for.  I found that I started hoping my marriage succeeded, that I be a woman my husband could love and respect, that our finances be able to support a good lifestyle, and that Matthew would keep his job and prosper!  

May 26, 2007  

Then a month after our honeymoon we experienced the shocking, surprising exciting news we were pregnant.  PREGNANT!! I was 21, barely married and thought I cannot be pregnant.

God was leading me to truly place my hope in him and find help from him alone.  Solely from Him.  Nothing the world could promise would be enough.  Matt and I were a bit overwhelmed but God provided.  

Eli Oliver March 2008

We now have 2 children, two wonderful boys Eli and Cullen.  Cullen was born November 18, 2009.  Yep, they're 20 months apart.  What a whirlwind it has been!

Cullen James November 2009

They are blessings in every way.  They challenge me, love me, inspire me, make me laugh, cry, get me very upset, make me worry and most importantly they show me they need me.  I hope that Eli and Cullen will know Jesus and have a relationship with him.  That they not become apathetic but that they desire to tell many people about Jesus, his love and salvation.  I hope they will become great men, strong, independent, confident, generous, gracious, mercy filled and God fearing leaders.  I hope they succeed at all they do.  If they don't, I pray I'm able to be there for them as a mother they can confide in.  That they can count on me to be careful and constructive in what I say and how I handle things.

Proud Momma 

A long journey ahead of them!  

I have high hopes that Matthew and I will be parents that are united, who show mercy and challenge our children to do right.  I hope the boys take note of how Matthew is the leader of our family, how he loves so much, and that he does all he can to provide for us.  

I hope we follow in the footsteps of my Parents and my In-laws.  They both have loved, struggled, and endured together.  We have a wonderful family because of them. 

I believe I am making it as a wife and mother of two boys in this world because of who my hope is in.  Jesus Christ, the author and finisher of my faith!  

Thank you for spending a little time here reading my blog.  If you are one of the women who heard me talk wednesday morning and weren't quite sure of anything I was saying... I hope this clears a few things up!